John Edwards sex tapes reportedly discovered.

Part of the appeal of having an affair must be people knowing....or the threat of being found out. Because sex tapes, undeleted text messages, emails, IM conversations etc. are the downfall of so many men. It doesn't seem to be the same for women who have affairs, which is why I'm singling out men.

be faithful. But if you aren't, do your partner a favor and make sure you don't get found out. Just sayin'.

Your spouse/partner is not a beautiful wooden puppet. He/she changes, grows, evolves and FUCKS UP REALLY REALLY BAD sometimes (like, growing nose, turning into an ass and getting eaten by a fish kind of fucking up). That's called real life. I think at some point, in every partnership, you discover this and you are faced with the choice - are you going to allow yourself to grieve the loss of the fairy tale image and get on to the business of real life love or are you going live in denial that the fairy tale can continue?

Sometimes the choices we make are more lasting and deeply affecting than we think they will be at the time. It might help all of humanity (and definitely our intimate relationships) if we learn to make more thoughtful choices. Or as parents are inclined to tell their children - think it through sweetheart, think it through to the end before you make that choice.

It's very surreal when an ex who you used to see as a bit liberal now appears practically a flaming fundamentalist. *edited to clarify - this is a change in ME, not my ex. From what I can tell, he's pretty much the same on the "conservative liberal spectrum", I'm the one who has changed ergo, my perceptions of others has changed.