I am fully aware that if it mattered enough to me, nothing would stop me from doing the things I want to do. HOWEVER, the thought of pulling out boxes and boxes of materials every single time I want to work on a project and putting them all back when I'm done prevents me from creating many things I want to create.

If I had a studio or at least a corner where I could leave everything out, here are some things I'd love to do:

• book binding (I did a bit of this back when we were in a house and I had a studio)
• weaving (haven't tried this yet but it looks cool to me)
• silk screening, stamp making and handmade printing
• altered books (something else I used to do when I had a studio)
• multimedia collage and handmade paper crafts

As it is I'm lucky to do small printing and collage projects occasionally, never mind catching up on all my scrapbooking.

Ah well, maybe some day.

David only has 3 more weekends of performances for She Stoops to Conquer at Bas Bleu! Then he has occasional film stuff and maybe a reader's theater later but otherwise we get him back for awhile! YAY!

It's hard to believe that since February I've lost almost 15 pounds and I'm only 2 pounds from my goal of 150 lb. (I'm 5'9"). I wasn't overweight when I started but didn't feel great. I was overeating, emotional eating and not eating very healthfully. I also wasn't consistent with my workouts.  Weight Watchers has been the trick for me after trying to just calorie count on my own. Since Feb. I have become vegetarian (something I have wanted to do for years), cut out most dairy, lost 13 pounds, cut out a lot of processed, high sugar and otherwise unnatural and unhealthy foods and workout almost daily. I feel so good. It's hard to believe how crappy I felt before. It's happened so gradually I've barely even noticed.

Most of my skin, anxiety/mood problems and digestive problems have disappeared (I did go on birth control for hormone problems not long ago and while I'm not keen on the unnatural hormones it has changed my life...seriously) and because I've done it gradually I don't really ever feel deprived. The first 3 weeks were pretty rough but since then I haven't been hungry or anything. My portions are more realistic, my foods are natural and mostly straight from the earth (lots of veggies, whole grains, healthy oils/fats, unprocessed sweeteners and fruit) and I can't imagine going back to the way it was before.

Don't get me wrong, I still bake and eat desserts/sweets and still have processed stuff and I splurge a couple times a month when I have my book club or go out but even my splurges are healthier and more "normal". I find if I overeat I actually get sick.

I'll just keep with it and see when I plateau. Right now, my goal is to be firm enough to feel comfortable on a public beach in a bikini (I'm shooting for my brother's wedding in San Diego for that goal - it's in July) so I'm focusing more on fitness right now. At my lowest adult weight I was 145 and that was right before college. I could see getting back to that weight but it's not necessarily my next goal. My first goal was to get back into a size 8 jean, I'm currently fitting into a 6 (pretty much, my hourglass shape makes trousers tricky).

The main thing I have learned through all of this is that letting myself get hungry and not turning to food when I'm upset or bored is tough at first but ultimately empowering. Feeling the full weight of hunger and satiating it with healthy whole foods without overeating has been so good for me - not just physically but spiritually/emotionally as well.

This is a screen shot of my weight and measurement tracker on Weight Watchers. I actually had lost an additional 4 pounds before I started the program. I'm almost there :) Right now I'm still tracking points but since it takes less mental effort each day, I'm focusing more on body sculpting and overall health for the purpose of maintenance. And for the record, Jillian Michael's Shred dvd is pretty kick-ass.

I had an amazing time with my hubby for our anniversary but one very strange thing happened.

We were staying at the Hilton right off the 16th street mall in Denver. At about 3am on Sunday, we got a call from the front desk. "Mrs. Fisher, I have a Mr. Anderson (don't actually remember the name) here who says he's a friend of yours, can I give him a key to your room?" UMMM. HELL NO!! I cannot for the life of me figure out what that was all about. I figured it was someone who got the room number wrong but wouldn't he have had to give a name? And if so, why was it Fisher? CREEEEPY. Needless to say, it took David and I and our sleepy overreacting brains about an hour to fall back asleep, freaking out about every little noise - which was super annoying since I was there without my kids in a huge comfy bed planning to get really good sleep.

That was the only glitch in an otherwise perfect time.

We had lunch at Wild Bangkok, a new Thai restaurant on the 16th street mall - it was amazing. Then we enjoyed some sexy grown up time including some time in the hotel hot tub. After that we hung out on the mall and then had dinner and drinks followed by Mary Poppins at the Buell then dessert and coffee and back to the hotel. David had rehearsal on Sunday so we had to leave right after breakfast.

And I wore a bikini for the first time since high school. Not too shabby.

I promised myself a new dress for our anniversary if I met my goal weight and this is what I got today. (it's more fuchsia than in this pic)

This model is probably a size 0 but I was thrilled to fit into a 6. (down from a 10 just 2 months ago)

I think I'll go with these shoes but I'll have to see how they look

link

 

we're going to get some lunch downtown, see Mary Poppins on stage at the Buell, enjoy the Denver downtown night life, stay overnight at a hotel downtown and get breakfast before coming home on Sunday. If David didn't have rehearsal on Sunday we probably would have gone to the museum or something but I'll have to settle for what I can get.

I'm very excited :)

I spend a ridiculous amount of my time making my girls' waistbands smaller (shayel is 7 and wears a 12 in length but is so thin she swims in them) and my pant legs either longer or shorter (regulars are too short, talls are often a little too long). My husband is also virtually impossible to fit - most of the trousers in regular stores are just barely long enough but he really should be going to specialty stores as a thin man who is 6'4" and the shirts that are long enough in the arms are too broad in the shoulders and too wide in the torso. ARRRGHHH!

About a month ago I started tracking my calories in the hopes of losing about 12 pounds that had crept on after having Aliyah. Even though I wasn't overweight (medically speaking) I didn't feel my best. I discovered I hate counting calories but without doing it I would overeat without even noticing. I also discovered I'm an emotional eater but that's probably a post for another day.

After a couple weeks of cursing the calorie counting method I decided to sign up for the Weight Watchers online plan which is about sticking to a certain number of points (calculated using calories, fat and fiber).

I have been doing WW for 3 weeks and have lost some weight and some inches but the real value has come from what I'm learning about myself beyond my weight - specifically the value of delayed gratification (including celebrating hunger) and patience.

Yes, I know, we all say we need more patience but without "the Universe" dealing you a hand that requires patience, or without making certain lifestyle choices that require more patience, most of us do not actively seek out the growth of this character trait.

And I'm convinced that the inability to delay gratification (esp. material gratification) is at the root of most of our problems as a nation (probably as a human race but only richest countries have the ability to "enjoy" instant gratification). We're quick to retaliate for perceived wrongs, we're quick to get into debt, we expect others to change immediately and if they don't we give them the boot....etc. I am also convinced that because of our instant gratification culture, we have to work especially hard at this discipline.

To give a practical example and demonstrate what a slow, day to day process this is for me - today, I was baking bread (an exercise in patience and delayed gratification on its own) and I knew that as soon as it was done I'd want at least 2 warm slices with peanut butter (my mom always baked our bread and this is how we'd eat the fresh out of the oven slices). It just so happened that the bread was going to get done a couple hours after my usual lunch time. Normally I would have eaten lunch and then eaten the bread (adding many extra calories to my day). This time I made the choice to celebrate my hunger, delay my gratification and eat my bread and peanut butter as a late lunch instead.

This might sound silly to some of you but for me, the very act of being in the moment and being self aware was a feat. Not to mention putting off lunch and the slow act of baking bread from scratch (I don't have a bread machine).  So today, I say, three cheers for delayed gratification and patience. Ask me if I feel the same tomorrow ;)

I grew up in a "crunchy" (all natural health freak) home after it was hip to be crunchy and before it became hip again.

There are times when I vividly remember what this was like. When I was very young I didn't know any different so it wasn't something I really noticed. As I got older and spent more time at other people's homes the differences practically slapped me in the face. When I moved out of the house, there were even more things I noticed and now that I have kids, I find myself reminiscing often about the types of foods I ate.

Today, as I was baking bread, I was thinking about some of the things I resented about my crunchy upbringing as I got old enough to know different. (in the interest of full disclosure, as I got older we did get the occasional twisty cone from McDonald's or blizzard from Dairy Queen as a treat on the way home from church or something).

Top 10 lessons from someone who grew up crunchy and lived to tell about it:

1. Carob IS NOT, in ANY way, under NO circumstances a valid substitute for chocolate
2. Baked sweets (like cookies) SHOULD NOT, under ANY circumstances be made with whole wheat, rice or other flour
3. Over the counter medications - especially pain and cold meds. - are indeed a gift directly from the Almighty.  Heating pads and cold packs cannot hold a candle to ibuprofen for taking away growing pains or menstrual cramps and vicks vap-o-rub does not help a cold unless sniffing menthol fumes makes you happy
4. Most people do not have an industrial strength wheat berry grinder in their home for the purpose of grinding their own whole wheat flour
5. I completely get the phrase "it's better than sliced bread"
6. The best hiding place for vitamins is behind, under or between the couch cushions
7. Carrot Cake made with whole wheat flour and honey is not a valid birthday cake
8. And just to drive point 1 home - Carob chips in a zip bag do not count as an Easter/Christmas/Fall Festival (we did not celebrate halloween) treat
9. Food co-op pick up warehouses smell of body odor, cod liver oil and dirt...just sayin'
10. Distilled water (and yes, we actually owned a distiller) tastes funny

those are the ones I thought of today while kneading dough. (only 35% whole wheat which I bought at the store with a quarter cup of ground flax tossed in...ok, so maybe SOME of those habits stuck a bit)