It's been a loopy morning here in my house.

I have a tag on my blog reader called "shits and giggles", for some reason, this fact alone struck me as funny - so much so that my 4 year old asked me why I was laughing so hard. I also find it far too funny that the leading headline in my shits and giggles category this morning is a blog post titled "motherfucker" and lands directly under a blog post titled "how to win friends and influence people". I fear I'm pissing God off more than what is necessary to be struck with lightning.

It also occurred to me that my children use the same concerned tone asking "what's wrong?" both when I laugh and cry. I'm not sure whether this is a commentary on how I sound when I laugh and cry or that I do both so infrequently that they're not really sure what's happening to me.

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Fax your resume, bank account information, cover letter and references to 1-900-wescrewyou, which is routed from a warehouse somewhere in Hong Kong. If you are selected, a large hairy man with a gun and a baseball bat will pay you a visit. If you are hired, you will never see your family again. But hey, you'll be working for a fast-paced, exciting, cutting edge company with excellent benefits!

I grew up in a "crunchy" (all natural health freak) home after it was hip to be crunchy and before it became hip again.

There are times when I vividly remember what this was like. When I was very young I didn't know any different so it wasn't something I really noticed. As I got older and spent more time at other people's homes the differences practically slapped me in the face. When I moved out of the house, there were even more things I noticed and now that I have kids, I find myself reminiscing often about the types of foods I ate.

Today, as I was baking bread, I was thinking about some of the things I resented about my crunchy upbringing as I got old enough to know different. (in the interest of full disclosure, as I got older we did get the occasional twisty cone from McDonald's or blizzard from Dairy Queen as a treat on the way home from church or something).

Top 10 lessons from someone who grew up crunchy and lived to tell about it:

1. Carob IS NOT, in ANY way, under NO circumstances a valid substitute for chocolate
2. Baked sweets (like cookies) SHOULD NOT, under ANY circumstances be made with whole wheat, rice or other flour
3. Over the counter medications - especially pain and cold meds. - are indeed a gift directly from the Almighty.  Heating pads and cold packs cannot hold a candle to ibuprofen for taking away growing pains or menstrual cramps and vicks vap-o-rub does not help a cold unless sniffing menthol fumes makes you happy
4. Most people do not have an industrial strength wheat berry grinder in their home for the purpose of grinding their own whole wheat flour
5. I completely get the phrase "it's better than sliced bread"
6. The best hiding place for vitamins is behind, under or between the couch cushions
7. Carrot Cake made with whole wheat flour and honey is not a valid birthday cake
8. And just to drive point 1 home - Carob chips in a zip bag do not count as an Easter/Christmas/Fall Festival (we did not celebrate halloween) treat
9. Food co-op pick up warehouses smell of body odor, cod liver oil and dirt...just sayin'
10. Distilled water (and yes, we actually owned a distiller) tastes funny

those are the ones I thought of today while kneading dough. (only 35% whole wheat which I bought at the store with a quarter cup of ground flax tossed in...ok, so maybe SOME of those habits stuck a bit)

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