Over Achieving Elf on the Shelf Mommies

By now we have all heard of the adorable little Elf on the Shelf.  Almost everyone I know has one.  Some people even have two!  (Now I'm having guilt for not having two, because apparently I need two because when my kids are adults they'll each want one from their childhood.  Ugh.  Not looking forward to that conversation with the Hubs when I tell him why we need another Elf.)

The Elf is a handy little thing to have.  The little bastard keeps my children in check this time of year.  When there is even a HINT of rebellion all I have to do is say, "Elf" and they snap back in line.

If he's so good, Jen, then why did you call him a bastard? you ask.  I called him a bastard, because even though my children think he's magic, I'm the one doing all the "magic" and I totally suck at it.  

OMG this is so funny. I shouldn't mock delightfully well intentioned sacharine sweet mommies but...well...I really must. It's a coping mechanism for my own self loathing that the best my kids get out of me on any holiday is moving my feelings of warmth from deep in my dark soul to somewhere in the vicinity of my facial muscles so they can see mommy happy on the outside a few times a year. And THAT takes about as much effort as I'm willing to exert. 101 fun ideas to do with your Elf?! *snort laugh spit-take guffaw...and bless their little hearts*

This is how I fully expect it to go down.