It's Stochastic!

Makeesha's random and predictable brain spew

Filed under: family news

changes

My life has changed drastically over the past couple years.

Some of those changes I'm not happy about but I'm stuck with them and I'm working on making the most of them. Other changes are really good and I'm happy about but I'm still grieving the loss of some things I've let go...just because they were so integral to my life for so long and losing them is strange.

Change is only easy for me when I choose to change and have a modicum of control over the process. Most of the changes in my life lately I haven't had control over and I still feel like I haven't found my sea legs yet.

The biggest change in our family is David returning to acting a few years ago and then going into focusing on screen acting. Before we got engaged, David had given up pursuing acting as a career. I was happy about this but I should have known he couldn't stay away forever. I thought I'd be ok with him getting back into it after 10 years - I didn't know it would turn my world completely topsy turvy in more ways than one. I'm not happy about it. I actually really really dislike that my husband is an actor. He's good at it and for that I'm proud of him but I pretty much hate the film making industry and find it the most dysfunctional and destructive thing a person could be involved with. I'm not sure what a person does when they aren't happy with their spouse's passion but I'm pretty sure I haven't done a good job in the process of figuring it out. But like all things, we'll get through it and hopefully return to a happy place...even if it's a different happy place.

The other changes are all directly or indirectly related to David and I leaving church ministry...and the church altogether. This is one of those good changes that has been hard just because it was my identity for so long.


The biggest thing I'm struggling with is that I'm generally a very tough, adaptable, resilient person. I don't necessarily relish changes or being thrown a curve ball but I always manage to tough it out with little drama and emerge whole on the other side. For some reason, all these recent changes have thrown me off my game completely and I'm generally a weepy messy puddle most days. It's infuriating.

On top of it all, more major change is on the horizon...good change, intentional change...but change no less.

I'm feeling rather exhausted by it all.

new year update...(?)

I've been very good at sending out digital cards and updates most years for the past several but apparently that completely slipped my mind this year.

I do this mostly for my own records but it's also nice to point friends and family to it when they ask what's up with the Fishers.

2010 (with stuff rolling over from 2009) was probably the most challenging year for our family. David and I had some really rocky times for the first time in our 12ish years together. But the great thing is that we have been chiseling away at some stuff and working together to make our future together even better than when we first got married. Toward the end of 2010 we felt we had rounded a corner. Issues still come up and we'll always have David's acting stuff to navigate through but all in all, we feel good about us, and considering how many people I know who got divorced this year after being married about as long as we have...I consider that a very good thing.

Fortunately, our kids have been largely oblivious to all of this and they're doing wonderfully.

Shayel is in 3rd grade and Aliyah started Kindergarten. 

Shayel is doing great in school. She's not a genius (or so they told us after she took the test to see if she should be in enrichment classes lol) but she's getting good grades, generally enjoys school, has developed some special friendships and seems to be doing very well. Third grade has marked a bit of a developmental leap emotionally and socially. She doesn't seem as "fragile" emotionally anymore. I have always loved her sensitivity and empathy but the "fall apart at the slightest thing" part I am not going to miss. I'm sure it'll come back around at puberty but I'll enjoy this for now. She'll be starting a jump roping club on Tuesday and is talking about getting back into riding (horses) after a year-long break. She's still growing and is now about the height of a short college student (but with the girth of a largish toddler). Yeesh! I would also like to get her into piano or some sort of music class - she seems to have a natural ear for it and last year knocked the socks off the audience at the talent show by singing Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and nailing the last high note. She was also figuring out how to play a song on my parent's piano from her third grade music program by choosing the notes by ear.

Aliyah is thriving in school - as I knew she would. She was nervous about making friends but that was about it. She does great academically and seems to have a thing for numbers. She will lay in bed writing sums on scrap paper the whole time David is reading their bedtime story. (which has been Harry Potter lately - we're up to book 3 now)  She adores her big sister and wants to do everything she does. It will be interesting to see what she really enjoys doing as she develops more likes and dislikes separate from Shayel.

David is still at Weston Distance Learning and recently switched to a different department. He's doing slightly different things which has made his job more tolerable. I started working at the local Synagogue last summer as an Administrative Assistant part time. It's very similar to all the other religious and non profit work I've done most of my life...every day a different adventure. It's challenging enough to keep me interested but not so much so to make it overwhelming. Working out child care and navigating the little changes that have come on the tails of me doing an "out of the house" job has been interesting and at times completely exasperating but we're getting there.

All-in-all we are looking forward to making strides in 2011 in several domains in our lives. Happy New (?) Year!

2010-11 first day of school, in pictures

Shayel and Aliyah started the 2010-11 school year yesterday (8/17). Shayel is in 3rd grade and aside from excited butterflies, was as cool as cool could be. Aliyah started kindergarten (half-day) and was spectacularly calm and completely ready. They both had a wonderful day. After school we went to our fav. Asian bistro for an early dinner then went to the toy store, ice cream shop and our fav. coffee shop. What a wonderful beginning to a new school year.

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